Before the Pick Up or Even the Dating…How Do I Start Talking To Women?

Hi guys,

So you just don’t seem to be able to start talking to that girl you like. You see guys you know chatting away with women they meet and it all seems easy. You may have bought some books, looked up some advice, applied some techniques and still no breakthrough.

Or you just look at dating and women as a world you may only get a few shots at in your life. It’s pretty lonely…and you may also be a bit hacked off, because you have a set of techniques and they are not working for you yet.

And so the continued frustration…

So what are you going to do?

Well if you learn and use the tips and techniques I’m about to show you and you do this for the next 30 days, every day from today, you’ll start to get talking with a woman right from today.

And if you don’t do what I’m going to show you you’ll remain uptight and frustrated and not knowing why you can’t make that initial jump to get your dating life started or re-started.

Now, just to be clear here, I’m talking about what it takes to make that initial jump so that all the rest of the dating advice you already have will make more sense. If you don’t have any dating advice or attraction techniques then you may want to go and get some. It really is to your benefit as a man. But don’t worry though you won’t need them just yet. It’s better to focus on what I’m about to describe first.

For those who may be looking for a bit more, sorry! I’m not going to promise you that you will be attracting women, having sex and living like a rock star in a few weeks. That’s not what this post is about. This post will talk about the foundation upon which the skills that you will go onto learn to get these things are built upon. And that your progress will be a lot faster if you do learn the basics.

What I will promise, though, is that you will be happy and comfortable talking to women at the end of the 30 days. As long as you do the steps every day!

Also if you are happy talking to women, are already learning about improving your dating skills and having success, or are going deeper into honing the skills of ‘pick-up’ then this post is going to be too basic and maybe even glaringly obvious…and you probably know a lot of this already from experience. That’s okay.

I truly believe from asking around that a lot of guys I know are having a problem just getting off the ground or are stalling at the first hurdle. So this post is for all you guys out there who are having that fundamental problem to start a fun and easy conversation with a woman no matter if you have knowledge of dating material or not.

So now for some context.

Over the past 2 years I have done some researching around and I’ve found that a lot of dating and seduction systems, great as they are, gloss over the absolute basics of what you need to attract women, as if all guys at least know them. Well what if you don’t and need someone to explain them? Or what if you have forgotten them?

So how did I come to discover these ‘absolute basics‘? As all the best stories it was there in front of me all the time. I just never saw it until I learned how to become better with women by buying some dating advice material (things like David DeAngelo’s stuff, The Game and reading blogs). I also then went out and practised. You still have to practise! And it was the best way to really learn.

And just to put this part in context: this getting of the material helped me over a 4 year stretch not getting laid, even though before that I wasn’t too bad with women, but a bit inconsistent. I think this made it even worse, as I knew and liked sex and when you aren’t getting it…well I think you know.

So that was over 2 years ago, and I continue to read and practise and in doing so, the methods start to take over different other aspects of your life. You start to see positive changes and are more prone to accept new challenges. The other aspect is you get a bit of clarity and see some of the ‘inner workings’ of things, and like that old Zen saying about ‘riding around on the back of a donkey looking for a donkey to ride’, you realise a lot of what you needed was right there in front of you throughout your life. You had already discovered a little piece of the puzzle.

And in finding that piece I saw that the dating advice and techniques worked for me because I had at least a modest grasp on the absolute basics.

Okay, deep thoughts aside, the combination of finally getting ‘it’ and seeing it work, and seeing friends who still had problems getting off the ground, I started to really look at the deeper basic stuff. Now I’m a scientist by training so analysis and testing are meat and potatoes to me. However, also is the concept of seeing only what you want to see, which is why I’m boiling the ideas right down and getting at the core. This is for my benefit as well as yours.

So, there really is only one fundamental, underlying principle that is the source of all your skills and ability at interacting, dating, sleeping, marrying women, and funnily enough it has nothing to do with women especially!

It is this:

To be really successful with women you must also be successful with the common social interactions of life

This is the key principle. That’s it. And yes it may seem really really obvious. But here’s the question: Can you say, hand on heart, that you are truly competent and successful at the common social interactions? Things like saying hello to people, asking them how they are and meaning it? Or being interested in them and being comfortable talking to people of all ages without thinking about just what you are going to say next, but listening instead?

I know I have trouble with this and I practise to get better. How about you? How much of that applies to you? Also I’m not talking about being a ‘nice guy’ here who is polite. I’m talking about being your own man, having a centered, confident persona that actually is happy to give, and gets a lot in return.

This type of persona only comes from practise and personal maintenance. Some guys are lucky that they were introduced to this at a young age, under the right social influences. Most of us have to learn it later in life.

Now there are much more advances techniques that you can use to improve your confidence, focus and sense of well-being. But here I’m only going to give you 3 exercises to do each day that will help you start talking to women and help build the foundation of that persona.

Okay then…here are the 3 steps to be taken each day in the next 30 days from today, to solve your frustration with just getting started talking to women either, for the first time, or again:

1) Say Hello to 5 people each day and make sure you respond clearly when someone says hello to you

Saying Hello and verbally acknowledging someone saying it to you, and not nodding or mumbling is actually a skill. You may live in a little world of your own a lot of the time, we all do. And sometimes when you think you have acknowledged someone you haven’t. You need to interact with others (note: men and women here) to extend that world and be more social, and in turn demonstrating confidence in yourself. The first step to do this is to say Hello. A Lot.

2) Ask 5 People each day how THEY are doing not just how they are doing

You see the difference? You are asking to be interested not just for the sake of talking. Do this a few times and you’ll see a change in people. Ask them about stuff if you want to continue and feel comfortable.

3) Remind yourself twice a day, once in the morning and the other at night, that you are a man confident and comfortable in his skin and with his sexuality

This one may seem like an odd exercise after the first two but it deals with the inner compliment to the last two outward actions. You may also have giggled a bit thinking about yourself standing there saying you are confident in your sexuality. Well, get over it.

That giggle was more about feeling unsure and uncomfortable with the idea. Your sexuality is fundamental to your identity and the more you dodge it by belittling and laughing it off, the more that confident and centered persona is off balance or won’t develop. So starting today, stop fooling yourself and welcome it.

There are many books written on the underlying sexual undertones in every thing we do so to ignore it or not develop it means you are losing a lot of the quality of your interactions.

(BTW If you really want to see what sexuality is about in relation to dating I would recommend you at least look up Hypnotica on Google.)

So these are the three steps that you must do each day for the next 30 days to start building that foundation for becoming competent at all social interactions. This will in parallel help you will improve your skills with talking to women. I do these myself, and I also do some more other things, but for you guys this is the start.

So just to summarise in case you have forgotten:

THE BASIC PRINCIPLE

To be really successful with women you must also be successful with the common social interactions of life

To do this, starting today:

1) Say Hello to 5 people each day and make sure you respond clearly when someone says hello to you

2) Ask 5 People each day how THEY are doing not just how they are doing

3) Remind yourself twice a day, once in the morning and the other at night, that you are a man confident and comfortable in his skin and with his sexuality

Great!

Now you are going to take a first step right now to get the ball rolling.

So..get out a piece of paper and write down a list of 10 normal simple questions or statements that would follow the Hello, How Are You Today/Doing start of a typical conversation.

So for example, from my recent interactions, this might be about the weather. This might be about talking to a friend about buying a house. It might be about the World Cup or Wimbledon. It might be a question about the kind of people he/she serves.

Okay that’s good. This will start you thinking what else to do when you are doing the 3 exercises.

Now go out and start talking….

….And that’s all, folks! This may seem very simple to do but it’s deceptive. It takes practice. I’ve found in my own experience and from seeing other friends that this idea about being really good at social interactions is a skill lacking in a lot of people. And how are you going to have a social value with women if you can’t first be social with everyone?

Thanks for reading,

Micky

PS I really do hope that this is helpful to someone having trouble with the real basics. If so leave a comment, I appreciate it. Or just leave a comment in general!